Monday, February 22, 2010

Aerodynamics Would Be Compromised...

So, my friend Kiran came across this article (via The Daily Beast via USA Today) and there's just so much to talk about. Let's begin with the article in question:

Attack of the Deadly Hot Dogs: The American Academy of Pediatrics wants a warning label on hot dogs, not because they’re unhealthy, but because their shape, size, and texture poses a huge choking hazard to kids and babies. The doctors want to go even further if possible, redesigning the food and others like it to lower the risk, according to a new policy statement published on the Pediatrics Web site Monday. Every year more than 10,000 children under 14 go to the emergency room after choking on food, and 17 percent of the incidents are caused by hot dogs. Warnings have long been required on toys that could pose a choking hazard. "If you were to take the best engineers in the world and try to design the perfect plug for a child's airway, it would be a hot dog," the statement’s author says. The National Hot Dog & Sausage Council supports a call for more education, but says that choking-prevention tips are already on the back of labels. The FDA plans to review the statement.

First question that comes to mind is this: Are you telling me that people are finally objecting to hot dogs and the concern is NOT that they're composed from raccoon tails, pig feet, llama livers and sundry horse giblets? Really? The only thing questionable about hot dogs is their shape?

Second question: What is the new redesigned shape they are proposing? Hamburger patty shaped? Wendy's hamburger patty shaped? For some reason, until I hear different, I'm going to imagine a sphere.


Thirdly, this pandemic of choking children should hardly be new news, right? I mean, Field of Dreams came out in '89!

Lastly, how does one become a member of The National Hot Dog & Sausage Council?

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