Pauses... are important.

Things I Don't Know Because I'm Not a Social Worker, Pt. 1

I caught a screen grab of this ad on Facebook a while ago and it has been sitting on my desktop for months. I'll open it on occasion and try to figure out what is going on in the picture. Is that supposed to be a doll? Is that a baby with a weave? A wig? Where are her arms? Is it just me or is there a shirtless man holding the baby? Is nudity common among social workers? There's just so much we don't know.

Supreme Pizza

Uncomfortable Childhood Memories, Part 1

Orange You Glad You Didn't Say Banana

Although my childhood height and physique suggested I would be a great dancer, my coordination did not concur. Nevertheless, my parents enrolled me in jazz, tap, ballet (with private lessons!) and gymnastics classes over the course of several years. Based on the number and variety of classes, their theory must have been that the dance style I didn't completely suck at was just one genre away. "Perhaps hip hop," they must have said with palpable disappointment. When I was in 3rd grade (and, in the interest of full disclosure, Ist-12th grade as well) I was always cracking wise. My gymnastics teacher, let's call her Ms. Anderson, was teaching us the proper form for round offs and a girl in the class piped up, saying, "I remember learning that you should try to brush the imaginary cobwebs off the ceiling with your toes!" Without a moment's hesitation I said, "Who taught you round offs?! A BANANA?!" At this time the studio grew tense and quiet and the girl just squeaked out, "Actually, it was Ms. Anderson."

Image via Natalie Dee

Something in Pink

Last night, Nicole won America's Next Top Model wearing... this. Where do you start when mocking something like this? Shiny cowboy fringe? Sheer bejeweled turtleneck? White slip/pencil skirt? Come on.